TED : Ideas worth spreading

Review: We don’t “move on” from grief. We move forward with it.

Speaker: Nora McInerny
TEDWomen 2018
Date: November 2018
Location: Palm Springs, California

Description from TED website:
In a talk that’s by turns heartbreaking and hilarious, writer and podcaster Nora McInerny shares her hard-earned wisdom about life and death. Her candid approach to something that will, let’s face it, affect us all, is as liberating as it is gut-wrenching. Most powerfully, she encourages us to shift how we approach grief. “A grieving person is going to laugh again and smile again,” she says. “They’re going to move forward. But that doesn't mean that they've moved on.”

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My Review / Notes / Thoughts

This talk was a real gut-wrencher for me, especially with the recent circumstances we have all faced in society with COVID-19.

If you’ve lost someone close to you, please take some time to watch this talk – all the way to the end … it’s only 15 minutes.

Don’t be afraid to share this video with those around you who don’t seem to understand why you’re grieving. Or can’t seem to understand why you haven’t “moved on.”

I really like how she discusses that we don’t “move on” from the loss … instead, we learn to move forward with it. It becomes apart of what we are, it helps to mold and shape us. The person we knew had an impact on our lives, we cannot pretend otherwise. We are who we are because of that impact. And we will move forward with that impact forever apart of our being.

The most important thing though is that despite the loss, despite the grief, despite the heartache … we do need to move forward.

The person you loved wouldn’t want you to stand still. Certainly, they don’t want you to “move on” and forget them – as if we ever could. But we can and should move forward with their memory. Acknowledge that we’ve become who we are in part because of them.

If you are hurting today, find someone who understands all of this and talk with them. It may not heal the wound, but it will still help. Move forward with your life, reach out to others who’ve experienced similar losses, and support one another. Together we can help each other move forward in life.

If Nora’s talk resonated with you, you might be interested in additional material from her. She’s published a few books that I’ve linked below (links are affiliate links and I may receive a small commission if you make any purchases).

Nora’s Books:

The Hot Young Widows Club: Lessons on Survival from the Front Lines of Grief (TED Books)
The Hot Young Widows Club: Lessons on Survival from the Front Lines of Grief
No Happy Endings: A Memoir
No Happy Endings: A Memoir

Life is hard, life may hurt … but we must move forward. Learn from and acknowledge those that you’ve been molded by …. and never stop learning!


Until next time … live long life-learner!

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